Beginner’s Guide to Sex Toys: What to Know Before You Buy

Exploring the world of sex toys for the first time can feel exciting but also a bit overwhelming. With so many shapes, sizes, and features available, how do you know where to start?

This guide will walk you through everything a beginner needs to know before buying your first adult toy, from the different types of sex toys and safe materials to cleaning tips and advice on choosing the perfect one. Our goal is to make this journey informative, empowering, and fun, so you can confidently find the right toy for you (or you and your partner!).

Popular Types of Sex Toys for Beginners

Sex toys come in a wide variety to suit different needs and anatomies. Here are some of the most common categories of sex toys beginners might explore:

Vibrators

Vibrators are electric toys that provide stimulating vibrations. They come in many forms, from tiny bullet vibrators for pinpoint clitoral stimulation to larger wand massagers for broad stimulation.

There are also insertable vibrators (like G-spot vibes) and dual-action rabbit vibrators that stimulate internally and externally at the same time. Many people with vulvas find vibrators helpful for reaching orgasm, and even penis-owners can use vibrators on erogenous zones. If you’re wondering how to choose a vibrator, consider whether you want external stimulation (a bullet or wand) or internal (a classic or G-spot vibe). Beginners often start with a simple, small vibrator to learn what sensations they enjoy.

Dildos

Dildos are non-vibrating toys designed for penetration. They can be made to look and feel realistic (often molded to resemble a penis with veins and balls), or come in abstract shapes and fun colors. Dildos may be firm (glass or metal) or flexible (silicone or jelly rubber).

Sizes range from petite (3-5 inches) to very large, but as a beginner it’s wise to start with a smaller size that feels comfortable. Some dildos have a suction cup base that can stick to surfaces, and others can be used with a harness for strap-on play. If you’re buying your first sex toy for penetration, a mid-size silicone dildo is a great, body-safe choice.

Masturbators & Sleeves

Not all sex toys are for people with vaginas – there are plenty of toys for those with penises as well. Masturbators (also known as sleeves, strokers, or pocket pussies) are soft, tube-like toys that simulate the feeling of intercourse or oral sex. They often have a vaginal, oral, or anal opening and a textured inner canal.

A beginner-friendly masturbator might be a simple handheld sleeve that you lubricate and slide over the penis for added sensation during solo play. More advanced versions come as full-fledged sex gadgets with cases, suction features, or vibration, but you can start simple.

These toys are great for enhancing solo sessions and can even be used by couples (for example, a partner can use the sleeve on you). For those curious about rings, a basic stretchy cock ring can help maintain erections and, if it vibrates, stimulate a partner during intercourse – making it a popular sex toy for couples as well.

Anal Toys

Anal toys are designed specifically for backdoor pleasure. Common beginner anal toys include small butt plugs and anal beads. Butt plugs are typically cone-shaped with a tapered tip for easy insertion and have a wide flared base to ensure the toy can be retrieved safely (never insert anything anally that doesn’t have a flared base or handle!).

Beginners should look for a smaller size plug made of a smooth material like silicone. Anal beads consist of a series of graduated spheres that can be inserted and removed for a unique sensation.

Those with prostates (often referred to as the “P-spot”) might explore slender prostate massagers that target that area. Always use plenty of lubricant with any anal play, start small and slow, and listen to your body. When used correctly, anal toys can be enjoyed by any gender.

Couples’ Toys

Many toys can be enjoyed with a partner, but some are specifically designed to enhance partnered sex. Couples’ toys might include vibrating penis rings (worn at the base of the penis to provide vibration to both partners during intercourse), remote-controlled vibrators (such as wearable panty vibrators or eggs that one partner controls with a remote or app), and strap-on kits for couples who want to experiment with penetration in new ways.

Using toys together can add intimacy, novelty, and pleasure for both parties. For example, a small bullet vibrator can be held against the clitoris during intercourse, or a remote vibe can be a fun teasing tool on date night. 

Communication is key; talk with your partner about what you both might enjoy. Incorporating sex toys for couples should be about enhancing your connection and pleasure, never replacing it.

Safety First: Materials and Toy Quality

When it comes to sex toys, safety and material quality are super important. You want a toy that’s body-safe (non-toxic) and suits your comfort level. Here are some key material types to know and safety considerations:

• Silicone: Widely considered the gold standard for sex toys. Silicone is non-porous, hypoallergenic, and free of harmful chemicals like phthalates. It’s soft to the touch and warms up to body temperature. High-quality silicone toys are a bit pricier, but they last long and are very safe for the body.
• Jelly Rubber/PVC: “Jelly” toys are squishy and inexpensive, but they are porous and often contain chemicals (like phthalates) that can cause irritation or have a strong odor. These toys can’t be fully sanitized due to their porous nature. If you already have a jelly toy or your budget is tight, look for ones labeled phthalate-free, and consider using a condom over them for an extra barrier.
• ABS Plastic: Hard plastic toys (often used in cheaper vibrators or the outer shell of bullets) are non-porous and body-safe. They feel rigid, but can carry vibrations well. They’re easy to clean, just be sure any seam or battery compartment is kept dry if not waterproof.
• Glass & Metal: These materials are non-porous and body-safe as well. Glass dildos or stainless steel plugs might sound intimidating, but they can be great for temperature play (you can gently warm or cool them) and are very smooth for easy insertion. They are completely rigid, though, so beginners should start with smaller sizes if exploring these.
• TPE/TPR & “Realistic” Materials: Many masturbation sleeves and “real feel” toys are made of very soft porous materials like TPE/TPR or patented blends (sometimes called Cyberskin, Ultraskin, etc.). These offer a realistic, flesh-like sensation, but require thorough cleaning and careful maintenance (like drying completely and storing with renewing powder) to stay hygienic. They’re generally safe if kept clean, but they won’t last as long as silicone.

Regardless of material, always inspect a new toy for any cracks or defects, and read the product description for terms like “body-safe” or “phthalate-free.” It’s wise to avoid extremely cheap, no-brand toys, as they might skimp on safety.

Stick to body-safe options from reputable brands or stores. Also, remember to use the right lubricant for your toy: silicone toys should not be used with silicone-based lube (it can degrade the surface), so opt for water-based lubricants with those. If you’re using condoms on toys, water, or silicone-based lube on the condom is fine. A little bit of research before buying will go a long way in ensuring you have a safe, enjoyable experience.

How to Clean and Care for Your Sex Toys

Proper cleaning is a must for keeping your toys in good shape and your body healthy. Always clean your sex toys before the first use and after every use. The cleaning method will depend on the toy’s material and whether it has mechanical parts:

• Basic cleaning: Most non-electric toys (without motors) can be washed with warm water and mild, unscented soap. This works well for silicone, hard plastic, glass, and metal toys. Rinse them well to remove all soap residue.
• For electric toys: If your vibrator or gadget isn’t waterproof, be careful to keep water away from the battery compartment or charging port. Use a damp cloth with a bit of mild soap to wipe down the surfaces that made contact, or use toy cleaning wipes. If the toy is waterproof, you can wash it like a non-electric toy under running water, just ensure the charging port is sealed if it has one.
• Deeper sanitizing: Non-electric, 100% silicone or metal toys can be boiled in water for 3-5 minutes to fully sanitize them (ensure there are no plastic components). You can also use a 10% bleach solution (9 parts water to 1 part bleach) to sanitize hard, non-porous toys – just rinse very thoroughly afterwards and let them air dry.
• Porous toys: Toys made of porous materials (jelly, TPE, etc.) can never be completely sterilized, so cleaning with soap and warm water is the baseline. After washing and drying, you might sprinkle a renewal powder (often provided with realistic toys) or plain cornstarch on ultra-soft toys to keep them from getting sticky. Remember to replace porous toys if they develop tears or lingering odors, as that can indicate bacteria buildup.
• Storage: Make sure your toys are completely dry before storing them. Store each toy separately in a clean bag or pouch (many come with one, or you can use a soft cloth bag). This keeps them dust-free and prevents different materials from reacting with each other. Keep toys in a cool, dry place out of direct sunlight. Disassembling toys (removing batteries, for example) before storage can also prolong their life.

By cleaning your toys and taking care of them, you ensure they remain safe to use and last a long time. A clean toy is a happy toy – and a happy you!

Tips for Choosing Your First Sex Toy

Now for the fun part: picking out your first toy! There’s no one “right” choice – the best sex toy for you depends on your body and what kinds of sensations you’re curious about. Here are some tips to help you decide when buying your first sex toy:

• Think about your desires: Do you crave external stimulation, like clitoral or nipple vibes? Are you curious about penetration (vaginal or anal)? Identifying what kind of pleasure you want will narrow down the type of toy. For instance, if you love clitoral stimulation, start with a vibrator; if penetration is your goal, a dildo or insertable vibrator might be ideal.
• Start small and simple: It’s usually best to choose a toy that’s not too large or too complex for your first time. A petite vibrator or a small plug can give you a taste of what you like. You can always size up or upgrade later once you’re comfortable. Starting with something modest in size and intensity lets you ease into the experience without intimidation.
• Consider when/where you’ll use it: If privacy is a concern (e.g., you have roommates or family nearby), you might want a toy that’s quiet and easy to hide. Discreet bullet vibes or small masturbators are more low-key than, say, a large wand vibrator that can be louder. Rechargeable toys save you from buying batteries, but battery-operated ones can be convenient for occasional use or travel.
• Check the materials and quality: As discussed above, body-safe materials like silicone are highly recommended. Read product descriptions and reviews – an adult toys guide like this one is a great start. Don’t hesitate to spend a bit more on a reputable product for the sake of safety and durability. A cheap toy that breaks or irritates you isn’t worth it.
• Solo or with a partner: Decide if this toy is just for you or to enjoy with someone else. If it’s for couples’ play, you might look at toys that are specifically designed to be shared (for example, a couples’ vibrator, a cock ring, or a toy with remote/app control). Make sure your partner is on board and excited to try the toy together – picking it out as a pair can be a fun part of the process!

Above all, choose something that excites you and aligns with your comfort level. It’s normal to read descriptions, compare options, and even feel a little shy – but rest assured, sex shops and online retailers have lots of info to help you. Many sites categorize “sex toys for beginners” which can be a helpful filter. When in doubt, starting with a well-reviewed, moderate toy (neither too basic nor too advanced) is a safe bet.

Best Beginner-Friendly Sex Toys (Our Top Picks)

To help you get started, here are a few beginner-friendly products available on our site. These sex toys cover a range of interests (solo and couples) and are chosen for their quality, ease of use, and positive feedback from first-timers:

• 10x Slim Metallic Bullet – Pink: A slim, powerful bullet vibrator with 10 vibration modes. It’s USB-rechargeable, waterproof, and made of phthalate-free silicone for body-safe fun. This little vibe is perfect for clitoral stimulation and is small enough for even the shyest beginner.
• First Time Mini Power Swirl – Pink: An affordable “first vibrator” choice, this petite multi-speed vibrator has a velvety soft surface and a twist dial to control the intensity. It’s great for gentle internal or external use, allowing new users to explore what feels good at their own pace.
• Fleshstixxx 7” Silicone Dildo with Balls: A realistic-feel dildo made from bendable silicone that warms to your touch. It has a life-like shape with balls and a suction-cup base for hands-free play. Because it’s silicone, it’s non-porous and easy to clean. The 7-inch length (with about 5-6 inches insertable) offers a satisfying fill without being overbearing for a beginner.
• PDX Elite Air-Tight Pussy Stroker: A popular pick for those with penises, this handheld masturbator features a soft, realistic vaginal opening and a textured inner sleeve. The air-tight case creates a pleasurable suction sensation with each stroke. It’s a step up from a basic sleeve but still easy to use and clean (the sleeve is removable for washing). A great introduction to male sex toys that can make solo sessions more exciting.
• Booty Bloom Silicone Rose Plug – Small: A beginner’s anal plug that’s as cute as it is enjoyable. Shaped like a rose blooming from your bum, this small plug is made of silky smooth silicone. The tapered tip and narrow neck make it comfortable for those new to anal play, and the flared rose base ensures it stays safely in place. It’s an inviting way to explore anal sensations without intimidation.
• Lock-N-Play Remote Panty Teaser: Curious about couples’ play? This wearable panty vibrator clips into underwear and delivers fluttering suction stimulation to the clitoris. One partner can wear it while the other controls the intensity via remote – perfect for spicing up date night or foreplay. It’s a bit of a splurge for a first toy, but its user-friendly design and innovative sensations make it a memorable choice for couples exploring toys together.

Each of these products offers a gentle introduction to what sex toys can do, without overwhelming you with complicated features. As you grow more comfortable, you might find yourself adding more toys to your collection – but there’s no rush. Even one good toy can open up a world of pleasure.

Remember, the journey of sexual exploration is personal. What’s “best” is what makes you feel good. Don’t be afraid to experiment (safely) and learn along the way. Whether you’re flying solo or playing with a partner, sex toys are all about enhancing pleasure and discovering new delights at your own pace.

Ready to explore further? When you feel inspired to try something new, be sure to check out our full sex toys collection for even more options. We’ve curated a wide range of high-quality, body-safe toys for beginners and seasoned users alike. Here’s to empowering yourself with knowledge and embracing the pleasure that feels right for you!